one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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