they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
