Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
