we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
