There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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