ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
