you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We are two peas in an std pod
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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