Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
