Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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