Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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