U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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