Already got asked if we're dating
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
