Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
