Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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