i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i've created a new STD.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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