they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
