Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
