i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
