Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
