so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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