HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's get the cat blown out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
