Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize