Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
