Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
