We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
