He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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