Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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