Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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