dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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