i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
