To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
