Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
