btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
