I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
