oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
