Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
