I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
