I have demons in me.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
