We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
