I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
