And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
