five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
