got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
