I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
