Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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