yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
