Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have fence marks all over my body
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
