I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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