but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
