She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
