wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
