Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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